Life, unmanaged.

My life is unmanaged at the moment. The first clue would be that I just posted this blog without having written a thing. This would be because I am trying to multi-task and pull up my daughter's jeans, drink a cup of coffee, read my newest "Sookie" book, outline my chapters for class, and blog at the same time. I find myself willing to add to that list, just to keep busy. I find myself questioning that logic, I have four full-time jobs as it is!! My life is busy, but I enjoy being busy and having a full schedule. I am starting to wonder why I add more and more to my list; because it feels like I do less and less well.
First and foremost my full time is the Kids. I work for Joey and Chloe enterprises! I love this job, although it is the most overwhelming job that I have. I wonder on a daily basis if I am doing a good enough job. You know, I really don't recall an interview process or a training period. I am not always sure that I would have made it to a third round interview, let alone a full time position as "parent." The kids are fantastic. Joe was reading a Little Critters book out loud yesterday and Chloe makes up her own songs. I can not really point out what I had to do with that other than encouraging them to be very independent. Colin works with Joe on the reading thing, but truly I don't believe I had anything to do with it. I am very proud of my children, I do all that I can for them. I stayed home for five years, and although many mothers say they would love to be able to do that; five years was enough for me! Not that I don't cherish those years at home with my babies, I gave them every little bit of myself. Going back to work gave me back part of myself.
My second full time job is my Hubby. We have been together for 14 years. But the real work began in 2001 when we got married. Marriages are work, and I have been seriously neglecting my work. On a daily basis I need to remember how lucky I am to have him in my life. He is a good husband in many respects. He loves me, he loves the children. He is devoted to taking care of us and making sure that all is well in our lives. He cooks, cleans, and goes the distance when I fall short. I am truly blessed. I really think I may need re-trained on the marriage thing, because I feel like I resist more than I comply. Marriage is all about give and take, I have been taking more than my fair share.
My third full time job is school. This I actually may be doing well enough at. So far I have all A's and a singular B. Which is a good thing, considering that I did not do very well in my other attempts to go to college. I am a marketing major. I enjoy the subject matter, but few others in my world enjoy it as much as I do! It's all right, I still enjoy it!! I don't spend the time on school that I should. I should be outlining my chapters as I write this, preparing for class tonight. As it stands, I'll get it done but at the last minute. This is my how I roll! I like being rushed I guess!
My fourth job is fantastic, but the least understood. I love my career-in-progress. Of course, not as much as my job as a parent!! But I work as a brand representative for a marketing company out of Akron. I really enjoy the position. It challenges me and it rewards me. I work hard, but it is a really fun job. I have a good boss who is more than willing to work with me and my home and school schedule. I believe in the brands that I am representing and it makes it really enjoyable to promote them. At some point, I will have the opportunity to open my own marketing company. I am working very hard to achieve that. However, I am finding the journey more difficult than I had originally anticipated.
First of all, the lack of support is getting to me. My husband is awesome, don't get me wrong. But he really dislikes my job. My family and friends are always questioning it. I feel like I am constantly validating my career to everyone. What I do is hard enough without the constant questioning. I wish that the path to ownership was carved out faster, that way I could show them all my accomplishments. Personally, I really feel like I have accomplished a lot already but its not something I can physically show outsiders. I was hoping that a trip to the Bahamas was in my future, but I am not quite ready for that reward. I still have a lot of development ahead of me.
This is the most difficult (paying) job that I have ever had. I worked very hard and have not had tangible things to show for it, as of yet. I have faith that these rewards are in my future, I just wish they were on a time line. That way I could say: "I will own my own business on such and such date." Things do not always work out that way!! For now I will have to deal with the questions.
My life is not out of control and I can definitely manage it. I just have to buckle down and get on it. Life is full of challenges, especially mine at the moment. But my life is equally full of love, laughter, and accomplishment. For now, I will keep the faith!!!